Day by Day

This is a picture of what Indy and I usually look like throughout the day. He in his Jammy jams and me just looking rough.

I feel like I have several confessions to make...1/4 of my readers has deleted his blog so he's just going to miss out on the goods.

I have somewhat missed a life that starts every day with showering, dressing and make up-ing. I feel like that sort of life was easier because there was routine. I had to be at certain places at certain times. I had x number of minutes to eat lunch and then would be home at a certain time every day. I feel like now my days are sort of random, revolving around the alternate 'king' of my universe. Like McCarthy's saying, "Each the other's world entire." Indy is my life right now, and I'm pretty sure I'm a big chunk of his.

We've been talking about my return to work. We've just been in the rut for so long that if something doesn't change soon, we'll be on the fast track to destitution. I'm trying to find a job that has the least amount of responsibility as possible. Something where someone else can fill in for me if I can't make it to work that day, where nobody depends on me. I'm trying to avoid teaching and full time anything all together, but I feel like if I did work full time, it would be better for us.

My problem with working full time may be unwarranted. I find myself doubting that I'm doing a good job with Indiana. I feel like I'm impatient and get frustrated easily. I feel like if I were able to stay home with Indy, I would get more practice with him, I would get used to him, learn what he really needs. One of the problems with living in a house full of family members is that you don't get the privacy to struggle through your issues. I'm always worried that a family member will look at me during one of Indy's cry-fests and think I'm a bad parent. I mean, I love my family, but when you're trying to raise your own, its difficult to be living with your "old" family.

I keep praying for the Lord to show us his will, to help us to have patience and to give me extra grace to get through my days here at home. I love the Lord, He is always doing amazing things for us. I just need a lot of help.

The Jungle Book

Here is an excerpt from the Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling which Keith and I are reading aloud to Indiana, our little mancub.

The fire was burning furiously at the end of the branch, and Mowgli struck right and left round the circle, and the wolves ran howling with the sparks burning at their fur. At last there were only Akela, Bagheera, and perhaps ten wolves that had taken Mowgli's part. Then something began to hurt Mowgli inside him, as he had never been hurt in his life before, and he caught his breath and sobbed, and the tears ran down his face.

"What is it? What is it?" he said. "I do not wish to leave the Jungle, and I do not know what this is. Am I dying, Bagheera?"

"No, Little Brother, Those are only tears such as men use," said Bagheera. "Now I know thou art a man, and a man's cub no longer. The Jungle is shut indeed to thee henceforward. Let them fall, Mowgli. They are only tears." So Mowgli sat and cried as though his heart would break and he had never cried in all his life before.

Spit up is my new perfume.

Gross, I know but true.

I blog better when I write completely random thoughts in the form of a list. Here we go:

Yesterday, Keith and I saw a couple walking/biking on the street. By "walking/biking" I mean that the boy was very slooowly, riding his bike while the girl was speed walking next to him. And they were trying to hold hands. It was hilarious.

When I'm in a public place and I see a mom pushing a child in a stroller or cart, I try to imagine her at home with her child, having the same trials and small triumphs as I'm having. It sort of makes me feel better about trying to become a good mom and feeling that I'm working really hard at it.

I think I'd rather move into a bit of a crummy apartment in order to save up money for a moderately nice house. Although moving out of my parents house is going to take a few more months.

It's been so long since I've been shopping, I went into Forever 21 yesterday and realized that I was really old and should maybe start thinking about shopping for clothes elsewhere...I'm not really sure where late 20 to 30-somethings buy their clothes, but I'd imagine it's not the same place that a 16 year old does.

What the heck happened to Joaquin Pheonix?!? That's all I gotta say about that.

An average day for me goes something like this:

8:00- (or whenever Indy starts crying) Wake up, feed Indy
9:00- go down stairs and fix some breakfast- usually something having to do with eggs- helps nursing moms lose weight!
11:00- feed Indy
sit around with the kids and watch Kai Lan on Nickelodeon or PBS Kids or whatever.
12:30- eat lunch
Check the mail- usually the highlight of my day, so you all should mail me stuff.
2:00- feed Indy
2:20- Sam comes home, we usually fix a snack and then do dances in the kitchen and try to figure out how we're gonna make julia get the heeby jeebies. Then we watch either the food network or something we can just sit and make fun of. The latest was a Ken Burns documentary on Lewis and Clark.
4:00- Arianne usually comes by around this time. She sits reading a magazine and talks about how tired and sleepy she is, and I sit and agree about how tired and sleepy I am.
4:30 or so- Dad comes home and asks me about Indy. Mom starts cooking.
5:00- Feed Indy
6:00- Eat Dinner- sit around the table and talk about random things.
8:00-10:30 - Watch movies or episodes of something with Keith and Sam. Tonight we'll probably watch Ransom. We're trying to watch all the good/interesting movies Sam has never seen. Feeding Indy happens in here too.

We're usually in bed by 11:30 and I am always online. And we feed Indy every 3 to 3 & 1/2 hours so...

I saw an interview with Tom Hanks and learned that he collects Antique portable Typewriters. I have always loved typewriters, and thought, "Wow, what a cool collection.." so I decided I would try an acquire one- not a collection, just one. For my next birthday...or anniversary or whatever, I want this one. You have to be rich to be a true collector, they're normally upwards of $500. So this one on Craig's List is really a steal.

Super DROOL!

That's what I was up to tonight while the superbowl was going on. I really can't watch football for some reason. I think it has to do with the fact that when I was in my 1st trimester of pregnancy, Keith watched football ALLL THE TIIIME and so it reminds me of being nauseated...kinda like Pavlov's dog...not that I'm a dog, but you know.

WIPEOUT on the other hand, I was sooo glad to see again.

Its time for me to comment on what I plan to do within the next year. I've managed to avoid it so far but i think the time has come to give some sort of prediction, or goal.

- I'd like to get back into all of my old clothes, considering how much money I spent on them.
- Be successful in my "Music for All Occasions" business that I talked about in my last blog
- Audition for the Virginia Opera and hopefully make it!
- Attend some performances at the Sandler Center...starting with The Durufle Requiem on February 22. I am SOO excited! Hopefully we'll have some cash flow and a sitter to be able to go.
- Become well rested.
- Establish a good routine for Indiana.
- Grow my hair out.
- Travel back to FL so Indy can meet his family there.
- Visit TX and do an eating tour- seriously, i really miss the food there! And get a Sarah Haircut!
- Blog more
- Read a lot

And of course the obvious ones, move out, get a new car and put together an amazing nursery for Indiana!

Speaking of- today we took Indy to church for the 2nd time. The first time, he did REALLY well, this time...eh...he kept grunting and screeching like a baby Ringwraith (LOTR, DERF!) As much as I thought I wouldn't be embarrassed in these situations, I felt my face getting hot and started blushing even though we were sitting against the back wall and only about 3 people could hear us. He was trying to poop, I guess.

I've been trying to read through The Jungle Books, but they're kind of boring. I wanted to familiarize myself with children's literature for Indiana's sake. I really hope he's literate, like really brainy and smart, committed to the pursuit of knowledge. But that's a lot of pressure to put on a 2 month old.

Music for All Occasions

Spread the word...I'm starting my Wedding/special occasion singing business this wedding season (spring). I've never really been paid to sing at anyone's wedding or funeral or debut or anything, but I'm going to start. I need your suggestions for songs that are normally sung at weddings, funerals, parties, or what have you. Here are some of the songs I already have down.

Love Songs
When You Say You Love Me
Deh Vieni Non Tardar
Misty
The Nearness of You
There is Love
From This Moment On
Unforgettable
Mushaboom
Our Love is Here to Stay
Sogno di Infanzia
Besame Mucho
The Best is Yet to Come
The Way You Look Tonight

Hymns
Great is Thy Faithfulness
Be Thou My Vision
How Great Thou Art
Amazing Grace
It is Well


Songs for Worship
Here is Love
Here I Am
In Christ Alone
Jesus is Lord
How Deep the Father's Love for Us

Bereavement
Prayer of St. Francis
Ave Maria
Our Father
Unforgettable

I'm at a loss as to how much to charge people. A friend of mine does this on the side, he's not a very good singer but says he makes a ton of money during wedding season because not everyone has musically talented friends like we do! He charges $200 for his services, an extra $100 if they want him at the rehearsal. This is a fixed rate for 1 song or 50! I feel like it's kinda steep! Anyway, I'm really hoping this takes off, because I really would like to use my degree in some way. I also love weddings.

Completely Random

The corners of our bed frame are lethal. I have large bruises on my shins where I've run into them in the middle of the night. Or in the middle of the day...

I almost tripped walking into the house the other day and it would have been really terrible. And I can't stop thinking about how much pain i would be in if i actually did trip. In my mind I see myself with two missing teeth and a busted lip and it makes my skin crawl.

After my parents came home from the Philippines, we took down all of the Christmas decorations, including our real tree. My dad set it out on the curb in front of my brother-in-law's van which I've been driving. As I was walking out to the van to go to target, I reminded myself not to run over it, 10 seconds later I did.

When people are super heavy handed with their beliefs, it really turns me off to the person and the person's friends. That's kind of judgmental, but I'm just being honest...and completely random.

I secretly wish I was back in TX working again. I'm not sure if that's because I actually miss TX or because I miss making and spending money. Probably the latter.

I watched No Country for Old Men again the other day, and I really enjoy southern jargon. "This is a mess, ain't it sheriff?" "Mmmhmm...if it ain't, it'll do 'till the mess gets here."

I'm beginning to forget the names objects and have started fumbling and stuttering words. I think it's hormones. So I ask questions like, "Did you turn the thing down?" and expect people to know exactly what I'm talking about.

I've decided to buy this apron for my niece's 3rd birthday coming up in March! I can't wait!

You guys are the best.

i had to