Musical Inspiration 2

FEIST WAS AMAZING ! i FINALLY got a chance to see my IDOL!

She gave such a well-rounded performance. Not only was i COMPLETELY taken by surprise by the power of her voice- the fullness, the range etc, and her skills on the guitar, it was also a beautiful show! She had these girls doing this artwork with light/overheads. Here's a video of mushaboom:



As good as the show was, we sort of had one of the craziest days of our lives yesterday... I took the day off so we could spend all day out there in dallas. We had planned to go see "Snow Angles" at the Angelika, but when we got there, we saw this:





so i had to do this:



wouldn't you?



Apparently, this was either the world premiere or a screening of the movie Expelled which opens this weekend. so we didn't actually get to see a movie. You should go see it!

Because we didn't get to see a movie, we decided to try and find something else to do. First we went to this mall, trying to kill time, but we couldn't spend money...so we try to just drive around to find something to do...we got lost, we ended up in the ghetto, we got sick from drinking too much Starbucks, Keith ran over a curb, there was traffic, we were driving around for HOURS and man it was CRAZY. but nonetheless, Feist made it worth it.

I need another day off!

clarification...

My previous post was in light of the events of my OWN life. I do not think that a pursuit of higher education is a bad thing. On the contrary, I still have a strong desire to get my masters, but not as strong as my desire to start my family.

What I really meant to say in my last post was that because of the transition Keith and I are about to face, and in light of the hardships that have been happening around us, I've been faced with the two "choices" to either start my family or continue in my education. And there have been so many things going on in my life around me that make me feel that starting a family may be what the Lord has for me in the near future- nearer than when I could possibly start my Masters. I look at Olivia and how big she's gotten and at Sam who is a completely different person, or Katie and Christie and what we've missed out on in their lives. Nana dying, our good friend's dad dying. And when I see all of these changes, and the suffering and the different things around me, I think I know what the answer is. The pursuit of my further education right now, in this season of my life would totally only be for me, myself, my own fulfillment. Whereas starting a family would probably be more meaningful and fulfilling to me. Not because I'd be a mother, but because this was the Lord's first commandment to man and woman. And I feel convicted in this because I thought for so long that having a baby would put an end to my career, or potential career. On the other side, I know that having a baby isn't the fix-all. It will totally change my life. It will put a new perspective on things.

I still have a strong desire to get my masters, but I think if I got it right now, the only reason I would would be because it was convenient, or because I felt I had to "seize the moment." I don't think the Lord would give me such strong desires for education, or such a talent and then never have me use those things. It's possible that God would allow me to do both or neither.

Please, don't get the wrong idea. Pursuit of knowledge is noble if it is the right knowledge and if it is for the glory of God. Someone could be a very brilliant brain surgeon and be a Christian, doing their job to the glory of God. I was merely saying that in my personal life, I think that the pursuit of a higher education at this point in my life would only be vanity, striving after wind. This may change in a few months, I'm sure that the answer will come in a steady devotional life- which I still struggle with. Because God does work all things out for good for those who love him. Loving him means keeping his commands. I know that if I pursue him first, everything else will fall into place.

Amazing Grace.

There has been so much going on in the past few days and weeks that although I may not have much to say, I felt I should really blog about it.

Times are changing. Pastor Tim gave a sermon on Sunday from Ecclesiastes ch. 1 & 2 about how worldly knowledge is meaningless outside of a relationship with the Lord. This has been something Keith and I have sort of been struggling with. Keith has been a little more outright with it, I'm sort of struggling with it quietly and to myself. Events have taken place in the past few weeks that have made us wonder what exactly we're doing out here in TX. What are the real priorities in our lives? What should our goals really be? King Solomon said that everything he had gained under the sun was completely meaningless apart from God. Wisdom or folly, all meaningless, striving after wind. It's like a song my voice teacher had me sing my junior year at Southeastern, "You can't take it with you, Brother Will, Brother John. You can't take it with you, Brother Will. You'll have to leave it when the coffin lid's on. You can't take it with your, Brother Will, Brother John." The wise man and the fool die alike.

All this to say...I don't know what my next step should be. I'm not sure why I want to pursue any sort of betterment of myself by means education, what good will it do me when I'm faced with really tough situations like what we've been dealing with here? When someone you love so much is hurting so badly or is so confused or unmotivated, or angry...what good is a Masters of Music going to do for them? What will it do for me if I'm the one hurting? As important as Seminary is to Keith, what about really ministering to those we love? The only wisdom that has any merit is knowing the Lord. Knowing his Word, knowing his comfort, knowing that he is stable, reliable, unfailing.

Everything that's been happening has just made me want to scoop up everyone I really love, put them in my pocket, move somewhere where we can all be together, and then start my own family. I want to really start living. Corny, but true. What the heck are we doing here? I'm working a tough job solely to pay bills, I don't feel fulfilled in it, I don't wake up every morning thinking I'm going to change a child's life. I've been slapped in the face with the cold reality that everything, apart from God is completely meaningless. And suffering for the sake of suffering itself- suffering without Christ -is hopeless. What can we suffer through which Christ has not already suffered? What meaning does our suffering have if we haven't an eternity with Christ to look forward to?

Not that I'm depressed, I'm just saying what I've been thinking and realizing over past few days. I feel that my perspective has changed. What I should be wondering is not, "What am I going to do next?" but "How now shall I live?" (no, i haven't read the book, but the title always made me think.) I want to live better, more fulfilled, more meaningfully. All of which are only possible through Christ.

God causes all things to work together for good for those who are in Christ. I think God is going to give me a chance to witness him proving his Word, not because he has to, but because that's who he is.

Musical Inspiration 1

From Wikipedia.com (I know, not everyone counts it as a credible source...but it's easy!)

The Girl from Ipanema (Garota de Ipanema) written in 1962- Music by Antonio Carlos Jobim and Portugeuese lyrics by Vinicius de Moraes with English lyrics written later by Norman Gimbel.  The song was inspired by -a fifteen-year-old girl living in the fashionable Ipanema district of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.  Everyday she would stroll pass the "Veloso" bar-cafe on her way to the beach, attracting the attention of Jobim and Moraes who were regulars there.

One verse translates:

"the exemplar of the raw Carioca (a person from Rio de Janeiro): a golden-tanned girl, a mixture of flower and mermaid, full of brightness and grace, the sight of whom is also sad, in that she carries with her, on her route to the sea, the feeling of beauty that fades, of the beauty that is not ours alone -- it is a gift of life in its constant, beautiful and melancholic ebb and flow."

Now think of that translation and watch the video.  There is so much feeling on the faces of these men, who reunite to perform and relive this song even in their old age...enjoy!

baby brother's b day.

My little tiny baby brother turned 13 today.  Thirteen...geez.  I left the house when he was 6, and now he's 13.  That is sad and insane.

It seems like the only thing I deem worthy to blog about is the fact that I am SO ready to get back to VA and get back to Little Sam and the rest of the growing brood.  Its weighing on my mind a whole lot.  I am really excited about it and I hope that the Lord blesses our plans to move out.

Our borrowed car got broken into on Thursday night.  I had just gone through one of the worst experiences of my life...the All-City concert and evaluation with my girl's choir.  They killed sight-reading.  Not the "killed" as you would say, "Man, Nells Kline kills that guitar solo!" But "killed" as in , "Wow...somebody killed that cat."  It was terrible.  We got back really late and parked in front of our apartment which is not in a gated area of our complex.  At around 6:20 the next morning, someone rang on our doorbell.  It was the neighbor from downstairs she was on her way to work and saw that the doors on our car were wide open and the driver's side window had been smashed in.  They stole the radio and a tent that I bought for Olivia's birthday.  I suppose I shouldn't have left it in the car, but it's a butterfly tent for a two-year old.  Who's gonna look through a window and say, "Man i really want that $15 set up for my kid...let me just smash this window in...."

This is the second time this has happened to us in the past year.  The first time was right before Thanksgiving.  The first day of break, in fact.  That situation I could sort of understand being that it was right before Christmas and people were getting desperate for money to buy gifts and such.  But this time was just senseless.  There are even reports of people in Dallas who are awakened to the sound of their car alarms, to find that their car has been set on fire.  The last time this happened in Dallas, it was a cop car.  What is that about?

I watched No Country for Old Men a second time in the theatre the other day.  I caught a lot more this second viewing than I did the first time.  But I really picked up on the theme that our world is changing so fast and that I'm becoming one of those "old men" whom this country is no longer fit for.  What I see as sensible and proper and moral is no longer a thought in the minds of my students or of those who live in my community.  We're about to elect a president based on a popularity contest.  What are people thinking?!?

This break in hit home the fact that I was unbearably homesick.  When I heard the words, "your car got broken into" all I could think about was, "these kids are driving me nuts."  It may have been a student of mine, but more than likely wasn't...but that's where my mind jumped right away.  Needless to say, the next words out of my mouth after thinking that were, "I want to go home." 

We fixed the window, spared no expense.  And we're shopping around for cd players.  

As they say on that movie "Sliding Doors" when quoting Monty Python..."Cheer up, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."

Monday, monday...

Man, this past weekend is one of those that will stick around in my memory for some time.  

We started it off right by picking up our new, pimped, borrowed car:

Yes sir, a Crown Victoria.  Only the best.  The thing has a system in it rigged for a Jumbo Jet.  It's so loud.  If ever I drive it to school, I'm planning to tell my students that it's the same car I had, but X-ibit pimped it out for me.

We headed out to a little restaurant called Sardines where they have live jazz every night.  I recently had a dream about this little restaurant.  I dreamed that I went ahead and quit my job, and headed to Sardines, requested for them to play "Misty" as I sang along.  After hearing me sing, they offered me a job there for as long as I wanted to stay.  They called me "the missing link"  here are some pics...

On the way out of the restaurant, I caught 2 of the trio and told them about my dream, and the drummer said, "wow, that's a pretty good dream."

Anyway, on the way out, it was one of those knock-out Texas sunsets.  Really beautiful.

Then on Saturday, we headed out to Dallas which is only about 45 minutes away from us.  We went to Urban Outfitters and watched "Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day" at the Angelika film center.  We love this place.  Here's some pics of part of the Dallas Skyline.  

I don't have anymore pictures to post.  I have a terrible habit of bringing my camera with every intent to take pictures, but decide to enjoy myself instead.  I don't like to take pictures if I'm having too much fun.

We had a really great weekend.  Today I was dog tired at school.  Mondays are always terrible, but this one was doubly because it marked the beginning of one of the longest weeks of the year- the week before spring break!  4 days and counting!

*slush slush slush*

It snowed like CRAZY today.  I cancelled my after school rehearsals even though we needed one really badly and went home.  I went directly home and started making a meatloaf.  It was the kind of weather that made you want to wear thick socks and eat oatmeal and bake cookies.  It was supposed to get worse over night and be terrible in the morning, but the snowing has stopped.  And true to form, Fort Worth ISD still has not cancelled or even delayed school, even though EVERY OTHER DISTRICT HAS.  That's because we have kids who don't get fed if they don't go to school.  S'quite sad.

We got our tax return back today and then immediately paid off one of my credit cards.  Man, it was so painful, like ripping off a band-aid.  So our return has basically cut in half.  I'm sure it'll be better for us in the long run or whatever.

I am unbelievably excited about spring break.  I really wanted to get up to VA beach to scope out jobs and places to live, but the tickets are like $1000 +  that's kind of a lot.  So instead of going up, we're staying put and it'll be great because we haven't had a break where we just stayed home and didn't have anyone over.  We'll really get a chance to just relax which will be great for any potential shingles that try to come my way.  It should be fun.