Title to be added later...

As I sit here, in my compression hose and carpal tunnel hand brace, and as Keith is off at the movies watching RocknRolla without me, I can't help but feel as though I'm getting a glimpse into my future.

Don't get me wrong and don't worry, this is not going to be a post about how I am giving up the freedoms of being a young, married adult because of the upcoming birth of my first child...on the contrary. You see, I sometimes like spending nights alone. I must admit, if you were to rewind to exactly a year ago, and if I were in the exact same situation, I'd probably be very unhappy if not pretty depressed. Not only because I would be wearing compression hose and a hand brace for no reason, but because at that time I felt that I always had to be doing something. I always had to be with someone. I'm not sure that the imminent birth of Indiana is making me love alone time because I know somewhere in the back of my mind that I may not experience it for a while, or if I've just changed because of the pregnancy. Whether it's because I can't stand to be out late at night anymore, or that I can't sit through a movie in the theatre without running to the bathroom at least twice, I find that lately I've just preferred staying home and sometimes preferred even being alone.

"What do you do while you're alone?" you ask? Well, let me just tell you. About 30% of my alone time is spent reading online or in a book about different ailments I feel I'm suffering. Tonight, I tried to look up "quickened heartbeat" on a website called whattoexpect.com which is all about pregnancy. Half way through the search, I quit because I thought whatever I found would just make me more anxious thus quickening my heartbeat even further. 55% of my alone time is spent searching through old journals or gallon-sized zip lock bags full of pictures from the past. About a month ago, I hit the jackpot and found several ooollllddd pictures of all of us in college...at the pool, at Bennigan's (yeah, they're that old)...on the 1st day back from time spent apart. Lots of great memories. And still another chunk of my time is spent in front of the mirror, picking my face...gross, but true. I've found that my nose has even gained weight.

I wonder if in a year or so from tonight, I'll miss being alone...or if I won't even remember what life was without little Indiana.