Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Oh ME of little faith!

I should have known that as soon as I complained about being depressed or getting upset because of no job, the Lord swooped in once again and saved the situation!

Keith got a call on Friday from Regent University and they offered him the job! He is now the Academic Liaison for the undergraduate psychology department. It has a longer title, but I'm not sure what it is. They actually created a provisional position for him for the next 2 weeks, his real job starts on July 1st. They wanted to keep him from looking elsewhere for employment, so they created this position for him! Amazing! The position comes with a great many perks! We of course get benefits, but on top of that, Keith and I get free or discounted tuition. I can get my masters after all! And the one thing I'm the MOST excited for is that they reimburse for adoption! Keith and I have always wanted to adopt, its pretty important to us and its huge in Keith's family. We won't be able to adopt any time soon, but the thought that the reimbursement program is there is very exciting.

On top of the blessing of a job, we're moving out! We're moving to the house I grew up in on Smyrna Court. Justin Blizzard is moving in with us. It will be so nice to have "our own" place and we're excited, Keith especially, to have Justin living with us. He's like our brother, and whenever he would visit in the past, we always wished he would stay longer.

I found a job at a preschool for next year. Its a pretty sweet set up. I only work from 2:00 to 5:30 Monday through Friday and I get a monthly salary. There are 20 paid holidays and summers and weekends off, of course. I really didn't want to go back to work yet, but if we want to get ahead, like really ahead, I had to do something. Working with my mom wasn't working out because there weren't enough children to go around. I hope this is an easy job, I really hate the idea of not being with Indy all day, even though I still get to be with him in the morning. Maybe I can convince them that I want to only work M/W/F for the same salary? I dunno. It beats working Starbucks, where there is no set schedule, no weekends or holidays off...etc.

So things are looking up, finally! Thank God for teaching us patience and proving himself once again!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Dying in the Living Room.

Okay, we've been waiting for about a week and a half now to hear back from Regent university about Keith's position there. They called this morning asking him to come in and sign a statement of faith...what does that mean? Does he have the job? Is this just another loop to jump through?

I've been struggling lately...well, not just lately, I should say that I've always had a difficult time seeing "the big picture," "the silver lining," "the light at the end of the tunnel" and this situation has been no exception. I feel like almost every door has been shut with no window left open. Keith, the expert in spotting silver linings reminds me daily that, "things will get better...God didn't call us here just to abandon us all of a sudden." I know its true. But man, I wish I could see that silver lining.

In other news, Indiana is rolling over, eating carrots and laughing constantly. He's the best thing! I cannot imagine my life without him! I say that so often, and its always true.

My mother returned from a month-long visit to the Philippines to get her Bridge redone. I never want to travel overseas for dental work. Hopefully, we'll have dental insurance soon.

We saw Pixar's Up the other night. I CRIED! It was amazing. I really love movies and cinema and the preservation of film. But since having Indiana, we haven't really been to the movies that often, maybe 3 in the last 2 months?

I may have to go back to work for real. I tried to escape the reality of working by helping my mom out with childcare here at the house, but there aren't enough kids to go around. I feel guilty taking money from my mom if I'm still living with her, and eating her groceries, using her electricity...you know? Doesn't make sense. The ChaCha thing is burning me out. So I think I have to look for part time work for the summer or the fall...then again, it all depends on Regent! ARrghhHh!

here's a picture of me and my boy.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Day by Day



This is a picture of what Indy and I usually look like throughout the day. He in his Jammy jams and me just looking rough.

I feel like I have several confessions to make...1/4 of my readers has deleted his blog so he's just going to miss out on the goods.

I have somewhat missed a life that starts every day with showering, dressing and make up-ing. I feel like that sort of life was easier because there was routine. I had to be at certain places at certain times. I had x number of minutes to eat lunch and then would be home at a certain time every day. I feel like now my days are sort of random, revolving around the alternate 'king' of my universe. Like McCarthy's saying, "Each the other's world entire." Indy is my life right now, and I'm pretty sure I'm a big chunk of his.

We've been talking about my return to work. We've just been in the rut for so long that if something doesn't change soon, we'll be on the fast track to destitution. I'm trying to find a job that has the least amount of responsibility as possible. Something where someone else can fill in for me if I can't make it to work that day, where nobody depends on me. I'm trying to avoid teaching and full time anything all together, but I feel like if I did work full time, it would be better for us.

My problem with working full time may be unwarranted. I find myself doubting that I'm doing a good job with Indiana. I feel like I'm impatient and get frustrated easily. I feel like if I were able to stay home with Indy, I would get more practice with him, I would get used to him, learn what he really needs. One of the problems with living in a house full of family members is that you don't get the privacy to struggle through your issues. I'm always worried that a family member will look at me during one of Indy's cry-fests and think I'm a bad parent. I mean, I love my family, but when you're trying to raise your own, its difficult to be living with your "old" family.

I keep praying for the Lord to show us his will, to help us to have patience and to give me extra grace to get through my days here at home. I love the Lord, He is always doing amazing things for us. I just need a lot of help.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

The Jungle Book





Here is an excerpt from the Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling which Keith and I are reading aloud to Indiana, our little mancub.

The fire was burning furiously at the end of the branch, and Mowgli struck right and left round the circle, and the wolves ran howling with the sparks burning at their fur. At last there were only Akela, Bagheera, and perhaps ten wolves that had taken Mowgli's part. Then something began to hurt Mowgli inside him, as he had never been hurt in his life before, and he caught his breath and sobbed, and the tears ran down his face.

"What is it? What is it?" he said. "I do not wish to leave the Jungle, and I do not know what this is. Am I dying, Bagheera?"

"No, Little Brother, Those are only tears such as men use," said Bagheera. "Now I know thou art a man, and a man's cub no longer. The Jungle is shut indeed to thee henceforward. Let them fall, Mowgli. They are only tears." So Mowgli sat and cried as though his heart would break and he had never cried in all his life before.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Spit up is my new perfume.

Gross, I know but true.

I blog better when I write completely random thoughts in the form of a list. Here we go:

Yesterday, Keith and I saw a couple walking/biking on the street. By "walking/biking" I mean that the boy was very slooowly, riding his bike while the girl was speed walking next to him. And they were trying to hold hands. It was hilarious.

When I'm in a public place and I see a mom pushing a child in a stroller or cart, I try to imagine her at home with her child, having the same trials and small triumphs as I'm having. It sort of makes me feel better about trying to become a good mom and feeling that I'm working really hard at it.

I think I'd rather move into a bit of a crummy apartment in order to save up money for a moderately nice house. Although moving out of my parents house is going to take a few more months.

It's been so long since I've been shopping, I went into Forever 21 yesterday and realized that I was really old and should maybe start thinking about shopping for clothes elsewhere...I'm not really sure where late 20 to 30-somethings buy their clothes, but I'd imagine it's not the same place that a 16 year old does.

What the heck happened to Joaquin Pheonix?!? That's all I gotta say about that.

An average day for me goes something like this:

8:00- (or whenever Indy starts crying) Wake up, feed Indy
9:00- go down stairs and fix some breakfast- usually something having to do with eggs- helps nursing moms lose weight!
11:00- feed Indy
sit around with the kids and watch Kai Lan on Nickelodeon or PBS Kids or whatever.
12:30- eat lunch
Check the mail- usually the highlight of my day, so you all should mail me stuff.
2:00- feed Indy
2:20- Sam comes home, we usually fix a snack and then do dances in the kitchen and try to figure out how we're gonna make julia get the heeby jeebies. Then we watch either the food network or something we can just sit and make fun of. The latest was a Ken Burns documentary on Lewis and Clark.
4:00- Arianne usually comes by around this time. She sits reading a magazine and talks about how tired and sleepy she is, and I sit and agree about how tired and sleepy I am.
4:30 or so- Dad comes home and asks me about Indy. Mom starts cooking.
5:00- Feed Indy
6:00- Eat Dinner- sit around the table and talk about random things.
8:00-10:30 - Watch movies or episodes of something with Keith and Sam. Tonight we'll probably watch Ransom. We're trying to watch all the good/interesting movies Sam has never seen. Feeding Indy happens in here too.

We're usually in bed by 11:30 and I am always online. And we feed Indy every 3 to 3 & 1/2 hours so...

I saw an interview with Tom Hanks and learned that he collects Antique portable Typewriters. I have always loved typewriters, and thought, "Wow, what a cool collection.." so I decided I would try an acquire one- not a collection, just one. For my next birthday...or anniversary or whatever, I want this one. You have to be rich to be a true collector, they're normally upwards of $500. So this one on Craig's List is really a steal.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Super DROOL!

That's what I was up to tonight while the superbowl was going on. I really can't watch football for some reason. I think it has to do with the fact that when I was in my 1st trimester of pregnancy, Keith watched football ALLL THE TIIIME and so it reminds me of being nauseated...kinda like Pavlov's dog...not that I'm a dog, but you know.

WIPEOUT on the other hand, I was sooo glad to see again.

Its time for me to comment on what I plan to do within the next year. I've managed to avoid it so far but i think the time has come to give some sort of prediction, or goal.

- I'd like to get back into all of my old clothes, considering how much money I spent on them.
- Be successful in my "Music for All Occasions" business that I talked about in my last blog
- Audition for the Virginia Opera and hopefully make it!
- Attend some performances at the Sandler Center...starting with The Durufle Requiem on February 22. I am SOO excited! Hopefully we'll have some cash flow and a sitter to be able to go.
- Become well rested.
- Establish a good routine for Indiana.
- Grow my hair out.
- Travel back to FL so Indy can meet his family there.
- Visit TX and do an eating tour- seriously, i really miss the food there! And get a Sarah Haircut!
- Blog more
- Read a lot

And of course the obvious ones, move out, get a new car and put together an amazing nursery for Indiana!

Speaking of- today we took Indy to church for the 2nd time. The first time, he did REALLY well, this time...eh...he kept grunting and screeching like a baby Ringwraith (LOTR, DERF!) As much as I thought I wouldn't be embarrassed in these situations, I felt my face getting hot and started blushing even though we were sitting against the back wall and only about 3 people could hear us. He was trying to poop, I guess.

I've been trying to read through The Jungle Books, but they're kind of boring. I wanted to familiarize myself with children's literature for Indiana's sake. I really hope he's literate, like really brainy and smart, committed to the pursuit of knowledge. But that's a lot of pressure to put on a 2 month old.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Music for All Occasions

Spread the word...I'm starting my Wedding/special occasion singing business this wedding season (spring). I've never really been paid to sing at anyone's wedding or funeral or debut or anything, but I'm going to start. I need your suggestions for songs that are normally sung at weddings, funerals, parties, or what have you. Here are some of the songs I already have down.

Love Songs
When You Say You Love Me
Deh Vieni Non Tardar
Misty
The Nearness of You
There is Love
From This Moment On
Unforgettable
Mushaboom
Our Love is Here to Stay
Sogno di Infanzia
Besame Mucho
The Best is Yet to Come
The Way You Look Tonight

Hymns
Great is Thy Faithfulness
Be Thou My Vision
How Great Thou Art
Amazing Grace
It is Well


Songs for Worship
Here is Love
Here I Am
In Christ Alone
Jesus is Lord
How Deep the Father's Love for Us

Bereavement
Prayer of St. Francis
Ave Maria
Our Father
Unforgettable

I'm at a loss as to how much to charge people. A friend of mine does this on the side, he's not a very good singer but says he makes a ton of money during wedding season because not everyone has musically talented friends like we do! He charges $200 for his services, an extra $100 if they want him at the rehearsal. This is a fixed rate for 1 song or 50! I feel like it's kinda steep! Anyway, I'm really hoping this takes off, because I really would like to use my degree in some way. I also love weddings.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Completely Random

The corners of our bed frame are lethal. I have large bruises on my shins where I've run into them in the middle of the night. Or in the middle of the day...

I almost tripped walking into the house the other day and it would have been really terrible. And I can't stop thinking about how much pain i would be in if i actually did trip. In my mind I see myself with two missing teeth and a busted lip and it makes my skin crawl.

After my parents came home from the Philippines, we took down all of the Christmas decorations, including our real tree. My dad set it out on the curb in front of my brother-in-law's van which I've been driving. As I was walking out to the van to go to target, I reminded myself not to run over it, 10 seconds later I did.

When people are super heavy handed with their beliefs, it really turns me off to the person and the person's friends. That's kind of judgmental, but I'm just being honest...and completely random.

I secretly wish I was back in TX working again. I'm not sure if that's because I actually miss TX or because I miss making and spending money. Probably the latter.

I watched No Country for Old Men again the other day, and I really enjoy southern jargon. "This is a mess, ain't it sheriff?" "Mmmhmm...if it ain't, it'll do 'till the mess gets here."

I'm beginning to forget the names objects and have started fumbling and stuttering words. I think it's hormones. So I ask questions like, "Did you turn the thing down?" and expect people to know exactly what I'm talking about.

I've decided to buy this apron for my niece's 3rd birthday coming up in March! I can't wait!

You guys are the best.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I've been reading again...

The soft black talc blew through the streets like squid ink uncoiling along a sea floor and the cold crept down and the dark came early and the scavengers passing down the steep canyons with their torches trod silky holes in the drifted ash that closed behind them silently as eyes. Out on the roads the pilgrims sank down and fell over and died and the bleak and shrouded earth went trundling past the sun and returned again as trackless and as unremarked as the path of any nameless sisterworld in the ancient dark beyond.

from The Road pg 181 by Cormac McCarthy. Look into it.

I tried to read this aloud to myself, but it didn't sound the same as it did when I read it. Its pretty amazing so far.

Friday, January 9, 2009

"Trryyy it, you'll 'ike it!"



Olivia's Fishy recipe:

1 plastic fireman's hat
20 plastic fishies
2 milks
salt
pepper
baby beeeeeetttshhh (i dunno)
2 fish eyes
aseeee (chocolate wrapper)

stir and then karate chop with hands and enjoy!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

More about old times...

So regarding my last post. I'd like for you to venture with me to a world unlike any other- the world of my own mem'ries. In my last post, I mentioned to all 6 of you that Blizzard found a bunch of our old Live Journals. Firstly, I was wrong, Blizzard didn't find ANYTHING, Marco found them. Next, I want to draw your attention to two in particular. The first one is here where I foretell of events to come!

and this one, which I'll cut and paste because it's short enough and because I have a feeling you won't visit the link and it's just too funny NOT to read. This is from KEITH'S live journal:

thump thump thump
so my new thing is to beat my chest. today i did it after i finished a meal and again after a ascended my stairs. it gives me a feeling of potency and strength (with a slight nod to male dominance). i liked how i felt today during and after the beat(ings). this may become a fixure of my personality. if i do adopt this, i must be sure to use it discreetly, only when my heart tells me too. i will not kiss my bride then turn to beat my chest, BUT i could finish a good plate of food at the reception and give a little pound, just to state the fact that the food was there, and i dominated over it. secondly i will not do it for show, this is not a group event, this is about my sense of worth and dominance over my life territory. i also think that this will benefit my children, as they will have a dad who beats his chest on occasion, they will have an engrained belief of my superiority as a father over other fathers, just based off the fact that i have the gall to beat my chest after a particularly pleasing television program. everyone is saying to get in touch with your feminine side, but i feel a need to get in touch with my male side. *you can be sure my chest will be getting a good pounding after i post this*


I'm not sure I've told you all this, but after we got the sonogram that told us that Indiana was going to be a boy, Keith gave his chest a good thump, thump, thump.

This post is kind of a cheat because it's a post about older posts. I'll do better next time...

Sunday, January 4, 2009

2009, are ya outta your min(d)??

Man, I want to blog more after Justin found a bunch of our old LIVE JOURNALs! i can't believe it. I laughed a whole lot while reading my old entries and that's because I would just write every day even if I had no point in writing. I will admit, some of them are really boring, so I'll try to use discretion on this more "grown up" blog.

We had a smashing Christmas and New Year. Helped by the fact that I had Indy to celebrate with. He is just the best. I can't believe Keith and I have a family now. I take joy in doing little thing for Indiana. Even doing laundry, as all 4 of you know I hate doing.

Julia's New Year's Eve party was a little awkward for us older folks. Only awkward because neither Keith nor I, nor any of our friends (i think) were never really into going out and dancing. The most dancing I do is at weddings or at home, or rollerskating. We did though, discover a new form of dancing:



Techtonik Dance? We witnessed it firsthand at Julia's party and it made me want to go directly home and try it out:



We are so old that it completely confused us. It makes me tired and dizzy. I'll post more about New Year and the Holiday soon. I just wanted to get these little tidbits in with the hopes that in 5 years, Blizzy will find this blog and I can look back and laugh at how clever I once was.