clarification...

My previous post was in light of the events of my OWN life. I do not think that a pursuit of higher education is a bad thing. On the contrary, I still have a strong desire to get my masters, but not as strong as my desire to start my family.

What I really meant to say in my last post was that because of the transition Keith and I are about to face, and in light of the hardships that have been happening around us, I've been faced with the two "choices" to either start my family or continue in my education. And there have been so many things going on in my life around me that make me feel that starting a family may be what the Lord has for me in the near future- nearer than when I could possibly start my Masters. I look at Olivia and how big she's gotten and at Sam who is a completely different person, or Katie and Christie and what we've missed out on in their lives. Nana dying, our good friend's dad dying. And when I see all of these changes, and the suffering and the different things around me, I think I know what the answer is. The pursuit of my further education right now, in this season of my life would totally only be for me, myself, my own fulfillment. Whereas starting a family would probably be more meaningful and fulfilling to me. Not because I'd be a mother, but because this was the Lord's first commandment to man and woman. And I feel convicted in this because I thought for so long that having a baby would put an end to my career, or potential career. On the other side, I know that having a baby isn't the fix-all. It will totally change my life. It will put a new perspective on things.

I still have a strong desire to get my masters, but I think if I got it right now, the only reason I would would be because it was convenient, or because I felt I had to "seize the moment." I don't think the Lord would give me such strong desires for education, or such a talent and then never have me use those things. It's possible that God would allow me to do both or neither.

Please, don't get the wrong idea. Pursuit of knowledge is noble if it is the right knowledge and if it is for the glory of God. Someone could be a very brilliant brain surgeon and be a Christian, doing their job to the glory of God. I was merely saying that in my personal life, I think that the pursuit of a higher education at this point in my life would only be vanity, striving after wind. This may change in a few months, I'm sure that the answer will come in a steady devotional life- which I still struggle with. Because God does work all things out for good for those who love him. Loving him means keeping his commands. I know that if I pursue him first, everything else will fall into place.